Whoever said relationships take work was underestimating. Relationships are one of the biggest blessings and biggest challenges we face in life. When they’re in harmony, everything is grand. When they’re not in harmony nothing feels quite right.

Here are seven tips to find harmony in your relationship.

1. Remember why you love your partner.

It’s easy to let the negatives color your thoughts. Remember no one is perfect. Also remember you cannot change other people, only yourself and your reaction to other people. When you shift your thoughts to appreciate and remember what you love about your partner, it’s easier to live in harmony.

2. Harmony doesn’t mean not speaking up.

In fact, if you repress any grievances or hurts it makes them worse. When you have an  issue to discuss with your partner or spouse, make sure to speak up. Communication is essential for lasting harmony.

3. Communicate respectfully.

One of the biggest challenges to any relationship is communicating. Effective communication respects the other person. Blame is not part of the discussion. Many relationship experts recommend avoiding the “You” type conversation.

For example, “You always forget to take the garbage out.” Instead, focus on yourself, your emotions and your feelings. “I’d really appreciate it if I didn’t have to remind you.” Or “What can I do to help you remember to take the garbage out?”

4. Make time for each other.

Life often gets in the way of a harmonious relationship. Between jobs, family, care and keeping of a home and errands there’s often little time left for each other. Yet this time is important. Let some of the other things slide. Schedule time to talk, and listen. Schedule time to play. Schedule time away from all of the little interruptions.

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5. Be patient.

Some problems cannot be resolved overnight. Acceptance, love, compassion and understanding will help you along the way. Eventually, with hard work, communication, honesty and love you can work through anything.

6. Compromise.

Relationships are not about winning or always getting your way. In most relationships compromise is the key to longevity and lasting harmony. Compromise comes from practice and open, honest communication about your needs. It also comes from an ability to listen to your partner and understand their needs.

7. Finally, remember that lovely cliché, ‘forgive and forget’?

It’s a cliché for a reason. Let go of grievances. Communicate, be honest and then let it go. Forgiveness is powerful. In fact, harmony is not possible without it.

Harmony in your relationship isn’t always easy but it’s generally worth it. You chose this person for a reason. Be patient. Be supportive, and honest with your partner. Together you can achieve lasting harmony.